Archive for May, 2009

Please?
May 23, 2009

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My bare feet rustled through softly strewn cream rose petals and a dozen paper lanterns gently swung in the dusky darkness. 
Tapered and tea light candles glowed as the sun slipped away and tart lemon cake was generously sliced.
My bubblegum-tinted toes tapped to the music and a fellow maid danced sweetly with her groom-to-be off the brick path under green leaves & bright stars.

The night was almost tangible in it’s heaviness.  One full heart draped in bridal lace, one broken heart beneath teal chiffon, and one fearful heart nestled under my skin.

 

 

Soaking in the details of my 39th sparkling wedding affair, might I ask…
when?

 

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Sit here.
May 3, 2009

use-it

My pen couldn’t keep up with Pastor Jeff this morning.  I know we’ve all had those “Dear __(insert your name)__” quiet times or sermon sessions, and today seemed to be very “Dear Kate.”

I want to share some of the messy, furiously scribbled scratches from my notes; whether Jeff knows it or not, he was greatly used of our God this morning.

“God has created us for far more than we settle for. 
As far as Truth is concerened, we can know it, teach it, preach it, sword-drill it, but there can be a disconnect from our head to our hearts. 

Is it possible to imagine a life that’s free from the bondage of worry?

Could I embrace difficulty with the kind of JOY that comes from somewhere else?

I don’t need to try harder, read more books, I don’t need more advice

THE WELL OF MY HEART NEEDS TO CHANGE!  Something supernatural needs to happen! 

God needs to act on my behalf.

There is a thief who is lying and destroying, but Jesus is here to offer another voice!”

We can catch ourselves believing that this is it…as good as it gets…as exhausted and broken and tired and sad and lonely and worn-out and doubtful and anxiety-ridden and tearful as I am…is this really it? Am I just “white-knuckling it” till the end of this ride called life? Is that a life that reflects the God we claim to know? No.

God has called us for far more than we settle for.

God does not want me writing “Dear Future Husband” letters more than I read His letter to me.
God does not want me crying alone in my empty bed more than He wants me knelt by the side of it crying out to Him.
God does not want me hoarding the pennies I earn more than He wants me to freely give, freely trust, freely experience His provision.
God does not want me limping to house church every week to look for refreshment when He and I haven’t dialogued in days.

I am ravaged with an unsatisfied thirst standing at an out-of-order rusted water fountain when the rush of a living, quenching stream is swirling around me.

How have you settled?
He doesn’t want you there.

He wants you in truth, in life, in joy, in love. 
Now soak it in.  Absorb it.
Sit here.